Under Cover

For some reason, I've been thinking more lately about what I put on under my clothes. This all started for me when Keith Larson spent a whole show talking about an undergarment that enhances the size of your rear. I don't remember what it's called (please don't ask!) but it's only sold locally at one store. I found myself right near that shop on some other business and I couldn't resist going in to find out more. You see, it has perhaps the best retail name ever: I C London. Don't get the joke? Do you see France? Turns out, there is an entire universe of undergarments I knew nothing about! I'm not talking about the usual stuff here. There's a whole industry now to provide smoothing and cinching of body parts I don't usually think of as underwear friendly. Arms, for example. Your entire leg, down to the ankle. Apparently, there are women who would be horrified at the idea of wearing a 19th century corset but who think nothing of encasing their entire bodies in a stocking sausage thing. Okay, I'm exaggerating, but just a little. A few days after I went into I C London, I saw this article in the NY Times Dining Section. The Dining section! Please. It's not like you can eat comfortably while wearing this stuff. This is where I'm supposed to talk about being a strong woman and not giving in to "image," etc. Whatever. I went back to I.C. London last week and bought something called "slim cognito." Don't judge me - I have a very formal event coming up with a very clingy dress. We'll see how it works out. I know I won't look like her, but I'm afraid I'll feel like Scarlett O'Hara cinching in that 17-inch waist!!